Books written by Ray Sullivan

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Project: Evil - Induction part 2

Project: Evil Chapter Three – Induction part 2
She stood down off the stage as three henchmen in the standard shit coloured pyjamas moved four round tables into the room and started rearranging the folding chairs so that everyone was seated around one of the tables.  Envelopes were placed in front of the chairs and the inductees were invited to take a seat.  The Head of Diversity held one of the envelopes in one hand, a revolver in the other.
'Inside each envelope is a self adhesive label with an occupation written on it.  I want you all to carefully take your label out and, without looking at the words written on it, stick it to your forehead.  Then take turns to ask a question from the other personnel on your table about the occupation.  If your question is completely off the plot then spin the barrel of the revolver, point it at your head and pull the trigger.  Please do be considerate when pulling the trigger, make sure no-one is stood the other side of you.' she said, placing the revolver and envelope back.
One of the trainee henchmen on Brian's table held up their revolver gleefully.
'I was told about this game,' he said, grinning from ear to ear, 'my mate was on the last induction,' he explained.  He flicked the barrel out and extracted the round sat in one of the six chambers.  'It's a blank,' he said, holding it between his thumb and forefinger, 'it makes enough noise to make you shit yourselves when it goes off, but it isn't really dangerous.'  The other table occupants leaned in a fraction, squinting, trying to look as though they could tell the difference from that distance, while not to letting their relief show.  The henchman hadn't finished, though.  'Luckily I have a real round with me,' he said, pushing the round into the chamber, spinning the barrel and laying the gun on the table.  Brian guessed he wasn't the only person on his table who was feeling like strangling the shit out of the henchman.
It turned out easier than Brian might have supposed. He quickly realised that each table had the same collection of occupations and as he could see all the occupations on his table he just had to identify the one occupation available on the other three tables that he couldn't see on his.  Plus the henchmen on his team mouthed each of the occupations as the turn rotated.  It was clear that the other non-henchmen had worked this out also so after three rounds of questions only the trainee henchmen didn't have a clue as to what was stuck to their foreheads.  Eventually the game ran its course, the Head of Diversity expressed surprise when one of the henchmen blew his brains across the carpet, most inductees shat themselves and tea was served, delayed as they had to clear up the unexpected brain matter off the carpet and change underwear.  Brian made it his mission to be first in the queue for tea, given that ruthlessness was a valued quality.
After tea, Brian sat down for the personality test.  He noted that it felt good not having to worry about being exposed as a potential axe murderer, in fact he realised that the further up the warped scale, the better.  The questions were predictable: Identify the next in the sequence, Square, Circle, Triangle – choose from Axe, Machete, Semtex.  Brian chose Machete, but only because meat cleaver wasn't on the list and it sounded closest.  Thirty-nine other questions like that, all answered 'Machete', left everyone ready for the Health and Safety Lecture.

The characters, companies and places referred to in Project: Evil are fictitious and any resemblance to people, companies, businesses or places is entirely coincidental

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