Within a half hour of typing frenzy I came up with the bare bones of a concept for a new novel that sat untouched for some months, then was worked on sporadically for the next couple of years and that I've had a concerted push on over the last five months.
I probably should have been a little more focussed; everyone I showed the concept document to - and I've shared it with quite a few friends and family members over the years - has urged me to complete the story but I guess you just have to be in the mood for these things.
Anyway, the book is finished, proof read, edited and published. It's available in paperback and eBook versions at all the usual suspects - Amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble, Kobo etc
So, what is the book about? Ever wondered, possibly wished that the famous celebrities, the musicians and artists who die too young, were still alive? What if there was a secret location they could retire from the public view to be pampered for the remainder of their natural lives, a location that while an open secret in the industry is one that you and I aren't privy to? To the industry it has become known as Hotel California, a name inspired by the song of the same name by the Eagles.
Your favourite dead musician might live there, but they would have had to fake their own death first, arranging for some John Doe to be lowered into the ground to cover up for the fact they're still breathing. Such a location, say an island in the South Seas, might have been plausibly secret in the seventies or eighties, but in the internet age keeping such a place secret would be difficult, if not impossible, without some extraordinary measures - such as shipping labour to run the resort from third world locations and not letting them return home. Ever.
Enter Ricky Maggott, punk rock megastar of the eighties, reality show goon of the nineties, jaded and hacked off musician in the current world. He wants out, and he gets his manager to arrange it. Consequently Ricky makes the journey to Hotel California but soon realises he's made a mistake. Concurrently Aiden McKie, a music journalist who specialises in Ricky's career, identifies an issue with the story of his premature demise and endeavours to find out the truth.
The result is a very dark comedy that takes in sex, drugs and rock n roll. Here is the blurb for the book:
For celebrities,
death is only the beginning of the end.
Imagine you are a
rock star, a very famous rock star, very rich, very popular and very
tired/bored/fed up/ and being chased by the IRS/ex-wives/old band
members. What do you do?
Touring to pay the
back tax isn’t going to work – more money just to pay the taxman, the ex can
find you from your tour schedule and you’ll probably need to enlist the
assistance of the old band members to hold the tour anyway. They’ll probably want
paying for the last tour as well as the new one and worse, they’ll probably
expect to use the same hotel.
Ignoring the
situation doesn’t work either. Taxmen just don’t go away; nor do
ex-wives. Old band members might forget about you, depending on whether
they’re in-between rehab or not.
Just disappearing
seems attractive, but not only will the taxman, your ex-wives and former band
mates keep on looking to find you, so will your fans, the biggest
pain-in-the-ass group ever to make a talentless singer rich and famous, who
seem to believe collectively that they deserve to poke into each and every
facet of your miserable life. And then there’s bloody Hello magazine….
Suicide might seem
like a good idea, tax is someone else’s problem, the ex can go to hell – you
can meet up later. But it’s so very final.
If only there was
a way to disappear, appear to die but actually keep on living. That’s
when you need to get your manager to arrange a meeting with Tony Morroney,
General Manager of Hotel California, located on a mysterious South Sea island,
populated with the allegedly dead but rich and famous – rock stars, film stars,
dictators who got out before the Russians got to the bunker, that kind of
elite. As long as you’ve got the money, future earnings and can commit to
never leaving the island, never contacting your family and loved ones and agree
to be buried on the island in an unmarked shallow grave when you finally shrug
your mortal coil, then Hotel California may be for you. Don’t get worked
up over the grave, you should have a fabulous one your fans flock to in
pilgrimage all year round. You get a great send-off while you’re alive and your
royalties rocket (ex-dictators may have to sell off stolen artwork to stay
solvent, because Hotel California is very much a one-way journey, run out of
cash and that shallow grave is your only destination). The hotel has been there
a long time and Tony is just the latest in a long line of very discreet and
ultimately ruthless managers of the hotel that you can check out of anytime you
like, but you never can leave.
When 1980s
Punk Rock Star Ricky Maggott dies suddenly of a complication during a routine
operation his fan base is bereft, none more so than Pulitzer Prize winning
music journalist Aidan McKie. Like most fans who have followed Ricky since his
punk rock entry in 1985 until his untimely death, Aidan swallowed the whole
story about the autopsy, the burial and the highly tax efficient release of a
box set of all of Ricky’s recordings within hours of his death. Then he
started to see issues with the facts and took his grieving head off and put his
journalist head on. He started asking the right questions of the wrong
people, found himself being targeted by ruthless assassins and has to
flee. But to where? Well, in his investigation he finds out about
Hotel California, the place celebrities go to when they want to disappear from
public life, and makes his way there. Once there he finds that the
residents are not all happy about the arrangements and while he can cope with
all the sex, drugs and Rock n’ Roll Hotel California throws at him, it’s the
killing he can do without.
Search your favourite book site for Hotel California
Search your favourite book site for Hotel California
