Books written by Ray Sullivan

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Project: Evil - The Final Interview part 2

Project: Evil Chapter Two - The Final Interview part 2

'Its early days yet,' replied O'Feld, 'and frankly I'm open to suggestions.  We have a Senior Team brunch every Friday morning and we toss ideas into the mix, it's all very informal and it generates a few good ideas every week.  Of course I have the owner of the worst idea slain after the meeting but you needn't worry as I always invite a few henchmen along – a sort of meet the guys on the ground affair, something the Diversity Officer believes I should do more of – and they always come up with a pretty crummy set of ideas like “invade the United States” or something.  It's just a bit of fun and I've started a new weekly competition – suggest the best way to slay a henchman.  Daw's currently winning with ideas adopted two weeks running – throw them into a pool of acid was the first idea and last week's was fantastic – throw them into a pool containing very hungry alligators.  Or was it Crocodiles?' he asked, turning to an embarrassed Daw.  Daw squirmed before answering.
'It was crocodiles, Mr O'Feld, but there was a bit of a hiccup.'  O'Feld looked puzzled.
'Hiccup, Mr Daw?  How so?  I saw the acid pool working just over a week ago.  Why I even helped to throw the henchman in myself, great fun.'  Brian watched the discussion, fascinated especially by Daw's body language.
'Somebody didn't clean the acid out properly,' he explained.  'Killed two expensive crocodiles straight out.  The third's lost its legs and is having artificial stumps fitted as we speak.'  Thunder passed over O'Feld's brow as he took this in.
'And the henchman who should have been fed to the crocodiles?' he asked.  Daw cheered up a bit here, sending a chill through the room and causing Miss Blowjob to fiddle with the thermostat on the wall.
'Scheduled for slaying during next Friday's brunch,' he declared.  This seemed to appease O'Feld.
'So, as you see, we're very progressive here,' he said.  'We have a strong management team and we're looking forward to running the planet in a suitably despotic way.  We have the right mix of evil brains to cope with the engineering, construction, scheming, science and cunning but we need a good project manager to pull it all together.  I've started with the outline plan,' he said, passing the sheet he'd been holding over to Brian.  Brian unfolded the paper and looked at the project plan in front of him.
Task Number
Task Detail
Days Required
Start Date
End Date

Design and build
 evil device(s)
1 day?
BLO'F, Senior team, Scientists, Engineers

Blackmail world
leaders with
1 day?
BLO'F, Senior Team, Henchmen
Bring world to
its knees
1 day?
BLO'F, Senior Team
Achieve world
1 day?

'It needs building up a bit,' admitted O'Feld, his cheeks colouring.  Brian nodded, there was work to be done, for certain.
'Risk Register, Issues Log, Cost Profiles?  Do they exist?' he asked.  O'Feld shook his head.  That'll be your first task – put the project on a firm footing, sort out the details.  Then, once we've agreed on the method we can cost it and calculate the time-scale. Then it'll be your job to oversee the production of a suitably evil device in a secret location.'  He let out an evil laugh that resonated around the room.  Miss Blowjob looked up from her note taking.
'Oh, very good Mr O'Feld, very evil genius.'  O'Feld beamed.
'Thank you Miss Blowjob, I've been practising,' he said, beaming.  Brian didn't know it, but the meeting was over.  He was on the payroll.

The characters, companies and places referred to in Project: Evil are fictitious and any resemblance to people, companies, businesses or places is entirely coincidental

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