Books written by Ray Sullivan

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Project: Evil - Another Bloody Friday Meeting part 3

‘Secret Santa?  That’s a fantastic idea Brian,’ said O’Feld, clearly getting excited by the prospect.  
‘I don’t think so,’ said Daw, looking up from his cupped hands.
‘You’re just a Christmas Killjoy,’ said O’Feld, staring at his Head of HR, wondering who he’d get to run the recruitment campaign to replace Daw.
‘I think, if my recollection is correct, that it was you who killed Joy, when you thought she was the Secret Santa who sent you the present you didn’t like,’ stated Daw firmly, remembering the shockwave the summary execution of a senior member of staff had had, given it was in the canteen, just after the staff Christmas meal, during her solo of “Silent Night”.
‘Well, she gave me that book, Brass Digit’s “Guide to World Domination”, like he knows anything about the subject,’ ranted O’Feld.  Daw sighed heavily.
‘It’s Gold Digit; and you don’t know it was Joy who sent it.  It could have been anybody, even me,’ said Daw, suddenly realizing what he’d just said.  Before O’Feld could draw a weapon, Daw added, ‘But I believe it was Joy, I think you’re absolutely right in that respect.  As usual.’  Brian watched Daw pad his suit jacket carefully and wondered if he should pass him the details of the trouser flush mechanism after the meeting.
‘So, it’s decided, a Secret Santa.  Good idea Brian, make the arrangements,’ O’Feld said, adding. ‘Talking of which, about the Christmas party, have you booked the acts I asked for?’
‘The Eighties disco?’ asked Brian, adding, ‘Yes, I’ve got one of the best in the business coming,’ he said, looking for the flyer he’d carried in his folder for days. O’Feld looked pleased.
‘Great.  I love all that techno music,’ he said, stirring his arms in opposite directions.  ‘Techno, Techno, Techno prisoners,’ he sang as Daw shook his head.  ‘What about the group?’
‘Elbow? Not a chance, they hardly perform live anymore. Plus they’ve heard that the Rolling Stones are still suing you for their fee from nine years ago,’ said Brian, looking for cover, deciding that Slippy Doggy Doo’s boogie box provided the best cover in the boardroom, one of the reasons he’d chosen the rap singer. 
‘I’m not paying those cheats.  The guitarist didn’t even look like Brian Jones,’ he pouted.  Daw rolled his eyes skywards; this was one of the recurring arguments they had in the boardroom.
‘Brian Jones left the Rolling Stones in Nineteen Sixty Nine,’ he said, adding, ‘and was found drowned in his pool a month later.’  O’Feld glowered.
‘Well, he deserved it.  I begged him to rejoin, but he wasn’t having a bar of it,’ he said, turning back to Brian.  ‘So, no Elbow, eh?  Apart from a short career, is there anything else I can provide you with before your execution?’ he asked.  Brian started to panic; the flush hadn’t refilled yet.
‘I’ve booked a tribute band, the best on the circuit,’ he said, closing his eyes as O’Feld levelled the gun at his head, not really expecting the shut eyes to be much defence against a point four-four calibre bullet.  As the shot didn’t ring out he decided he might just have won a reprise.
‘Tribute band?  For Elbow?’ asked O’Feld. Brian nodded, he’d done his research, scoured the Internet, watched maybe fifteen such bands and canvassed the punters at the gigs.  ‘What are they called?’ asked O’Feld lowering the gun.
‘Arse,’ replied Brian.  O’Feld paused as the name filtered in.  Daw was busy Googling on his iPhone to find out about the band.  He needed to know if he had to book extra henchmen for the Christmas party to carry the bodies out.
‘Brian’s right,’ he said after reading a couple of reviews.
‘Do they sound like Elbow?’ asked O’Feld.
‘Indistinguishable, apparently most people can’t tell one from the other,’ answered Brian, realizing only Daw had caught the inference.
‘Great,’ said O’Feld, placing the gun down, effectively calling the meeting to a close.  Looking around the boardroom Brian realised that he probably had quite a few potential orders for his flushing system for suit trousers.


The characters, companies and places referred to in Project: Evil are fictitious and any resemblance to people, companies, businesses or places is entirely coincidental

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