Ray Sullivan SciFi Zone: Project: Evil - Project Logistics Meeting part 2

‘And I’ve got issues about the dungeons,’ said Lurch. Brian looked at the gaoler.

‘What dungeons?’ he asked, confused. As far as he could recall he’d only specified two cells in the main facility – one for staff, one for visitors. Specifically Bund, incorporating comfy seating and a laser.

‘I need a dungeon on the island and one on the rocket – I can’t risk allowing henchmen out of Earth orbit without some element of discipline,’ he insisted, flexing a whip in a way that suggested to Brian that he should be listened to.

‘There is a cell on the island,’ he insisted, only to be drowned out by Lurch’s laughter.

‘It’s at ground level; that’s not a dungeon, it’s a reception area,’ he said, adding, ‘dungeons are always below ground, usually in rooms that are poorly protected from the ingress of water and suffering from inadequate facilities such as badly flushing toilets and leaking taps,’ he pointed out, reminding Brian of the hotel he’d stayed at for the Megalomaniac Convention. He felt he’d been wasting his time; his design for a cell was state of the art – all mod cons, pastel walls, colour co-ordinated chains and manacles; this man wanted to step back in time.

‘The budget doesn’t allow for an underground cell, we were hoping to pre-fabricate the whole facility and air drop it onto a piece of cleared ground; what you want will require diggers working around the clock for days, drainage, plumbing, electrics. I very much doubt we’d get planning permission at this stage,’ he stated, firmly. Lurch glowered before flicking his fringe away from his eyes.

‘Forget the drainage, a bit of backed up water does wonders for a dungeon. And the only plumbing I require is enough for water boarding. But do ensure an electricity supply. Anyway, you’re dodging the issue,’ he said. Brian racked his brain, then panicked as he recalled that racking was one of Lurch’s specialities.

‘What issue?’ he asked, wishing he’d allowed himself to become embroiled in the beige issue, although experience on earlier parts of the project had taught him to avoid debates over colour schemes.

‘Where on the rocket you’re going to fit a dungeon, of course,’ answered Lurch, looking around the room to nods of agreement. Brian wasn’t sure how he was going to fit the henchmen on the rocket, let alone a playroom for Lurch.

‘The fourth stage,’ he decided, quickly. The engineer with the colour charts looked up sharply and Brian knew he was in for a rough ride.

‘A beige dungeon? Are you out of your mind?’ the engineer asked, scooping all the colour swatches up and pushing them into a carrier bag. ‘I’ve been wasting my time here,’ he said, storming out of the meeting. Brian jumped at the unexpected voice behind him.

‘Planning permission for a deserted South Sea island?’ asked Daw as the door slammed shut. Brian spun around; he hadn’t heard Daw enter the meeting. ‘It’s against company rules to ask for permission to do anything, unless you’ve been given permission to do so’ he elaborated, adding, ‘you have to ask for that permission if you want it.

‘I was intending lying on the application,’ bluffed Brian, flushing. Daw considered this as he took a seat.

‘There’s no point in doing that, everyone lies on planning permission applications,’ Daw pointed out. ‘My recommendation is that you apply for planning permission for a secret missile lair to Basildon Council, just to piss the Head of Facilities off,’ he said, pulling his pen out to sign some personnel relocation documents, or death warrants as everyone else referred to them. He handed the sheaf of papers to the gaoler as Brian turned back to the meeting, alerted by the door opening again.

He shook his head as he watched Froshdu leave; then he noticed that the buffet was finished. As he stared at the faces looking expectantly up at him, one memory stuck hard in his head; he’d promised that whatever happened, everyone would get fed on this project regardless of whether they ended up in the South Seas or Basildon. Not for the first time Brian had a feeling that he’d over-committed to the project.

‘Dodgy, I’d like you to investigate the logistics of continual food drops around the clock,’ he said, backing out of the meeting.

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