I mentioned in a post the other day that I was talking to the Wrexham Writers' group about writing for NewsBiscuit. I did write about NewsBiscuit some years ago but a lot of water has run under the bridge since then so now's a good time to catch up. The pitch I made was an attempt to see if I could persuade one or more of the writers in the room to have a bash at writing for NewsBiscuit.
We've got a healthy amount of writers at the moment - last year we had just under one hundred contributors published, most if not all are submitting this year as well. There was probably a small number of other writers who submitted but didn't get their work selected, but in my experience a little tenacity helps here - writing comedy and satire takes a little practise and each attempt gets you closer. We do see a small number of writers who post once or twice and then disappear, which is a shame as we really like to help writers develop.
So why did I try to recruit new writers? Why am I using this blog to hopefully interest writers from a wider net, potentially an international net given the stats I'm seeing for this blog? Because we post satirical and comedic posts every day of the year, all 365 days. Last year we published over one thousand short stories generally between 200 and 400 words long, over 1200 headlines (one-line gags) and over 700 cartoons for those who prefer visual gags. In that year I was personally responsible for writing just under sixty of those posts (and exactly one headline). I'm probably on the higher side of the productivity scale but not at the top by a long chalk. We have a small number of very good, very prolific writers while many of the writers are less prolific - most are in full time jobs, living real lives after all.
Plus, and this can't be understated, new blood brings fresh ideas, novel approaches. That can't be bad.
So, what's it like writing for NewsBiscuit? Well, for one, it keeps your tax affairs simple. We don't pay writers (including me), editors (also including me) and the directors of the parent company can whistle (you guessed, including me). Our mission is to provide a space for aspiring and established writers to hone their comedic writing skills. Most do it just for the fun, for the rush to be published on an internationally read comedy website. Others have aspirations to break into satirical writing - writing for NewsBiscuit will help them to build up their CV (resume over the pond). If you have any aspirations for writing for radio or TV, or to write for the satirical websites that do pay, building a portfolio of published work with us isn't a bad play.
I made the point in the Writers' Group the other day that there's generally three excuses people give for not writing for us.
The first excuse is 'I'm not funny, I can't tell jokes'. Most of us aren't stand-up material, but put us in a small group and in a few minutes we start riffing and joking. Trust me, we're all funny, the trick is to hone our comedic writing skills.
Second reason is 'I'm not political'. Get that, but a good percentage of our output isn't political, it's observational humour. To us a joke is a joke is a joke. But taking the 'I'm not political' bit - yes you are, almost certainly. Most sensible people (and comedy writers can also be sensible) don't start talking politics with strangers or, often, friends and family. I would suggest that the majority of writers on NewsBiscuit are centre left but we do have some who are more left wing and a couple who are right of centre. As long as writers punch up rather than down we're happy to play. For the record, I like to mangle an oft quoted art world saying - I don't know much about politics, but I know what I don't like. I don't like lies, grift and hypocrisy, so I've got plenty of material to work with.
Finally the third reason given is 'I can't write'. Judging from some of the social media posts I see, there might be some truth in that. Not all of our writers are word perfect with pristine punctuation, but as long as the gist is funny, we can work with it. With practise all writing skills will improve.
If you have visited the public site you may have noticed that unlike the vast majority of news websites (both fake and apparently not fake varieties) we don't have any pop up adverts nor any clickbait Google Ads getting in your way. That is a deliberate choice. We're also free to access, no log in, no subscription. If you're interested in writing look for the 'Writers' Room' button at the top, click on it and it will prompt you to log in or register (also free). Registration is simple, you will need an email address, choose a password and decide on your NewsBiscuit handle. Mine is Throngsman, by the way. You don't have to choose an opaque user name, many writers choose their given names, many don't. It's your choice. By the way, we don't share email addresses (or any data, such as we hold) and the only purpose your email has, apart from forming part of your login is to send you an automated email if and when you have a post published. There are some Google ads on the Writers' site, it's a deal we have with ProBoards to host this site for free and they're not intrusive.
Once registered there is a chat room - it's generally very civilised - a Writers' Room for short stories, a Headlines Room and a Cartoons Room. Take a look around, compare what is submitted to what is published to get a feel for what works and what doesn't. Contribute to the chat room, have a go at posting something, don't get disheartened if it doesn't get picked up straight away. If you think something has been overlooked then by all means bump it, sometimes editors miss good posts.
Most importantly, enjoy. Writing should be fun, writing comedy should be really fun. You can submit from your PC or your phone. If you do sign up, DM me and say hi.
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Follow me on Twitter: @RayASullivan
email me at raysullivan.novels@yahoo.com
Check out my comedic ramblings as Throngsman on www.newsbiscuit.com
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