Project: Evil - Inaugral Project Meeting part 2

Project: Evil Chapter Five -Inaugural Project Meeting Part 2

The rest of the meeting followed suit and filed out of the door, leaving a stunned Brian alone with public sector man and Daw, who’d slipped in while they’d been talking.  Brian noticed Daw was holding Brian’s CV, the coffee stain in glorious colour, meaning it was the original document.  Daw held it up.

‘I’ve got to admit, I’ve had reservations about you from the start,’ he said, placing the CV on the table.  ‘I even had the coffee stain tested,’ he said.

‘What for?’ asked Brian.  Daw looked surprised at the question.

‘For coffee,’ he answered, clearly confused.  Brian shook his head.

‘I meant, for what reason did you get the coffee stain tested?’  Daw smiled, causing public sector guy to slip his tie up to his neck to ward off the chill.  Sandals seemed a really poor choice now.

‘It looked too obvious, like it was a set up.  We needed to know if it was really just coffee on that stain.’  Brian couldn’t see the relevance.

‘Of course it was just coffee; apart from the whisky I bought, it was the only beverage I had in the flat.’

‘It wasn’t just coffee,’ stated Daw flatly, running his finger around the stain.  ‘It had DNA in it.  Yours.’

‘Which means what?’ asked Brian, wondering who else’s DNA they expected.

‘It means you were one careful operator, a real professional planting real coffee with your DNA in as a stain.  That, or it was just a coffee stain,’ he acknowledged.

‘So, what?  Are you guys always this paranoid?’ Brian asked, noting public sector guy looked over his rimless glasses at this question – of course they were.

‘So I checked out your CV – your qualifications, your references,’ Daw said, slipping a finger under the sheet to lift it gently off the table.  ‘None of them stacked up, it’s a complete fabrication from start to finish,’ he said, watching Brian’s face grow white.  ‘Well done,’ he said.  ‘For a while I thought they were truthful, which means I’d have had to let you go,’ he said.

‘Let me go?’ asked Brian, ‘Sack me?’  Daw shook his head.

‘It’s my turn to hang a miscreant off Blackfriars Bridge.  I’d have got a henchman to tie the noose, of course, but it would be me who would have dangled you over and let you go.’

Brian swallowed hard, he’d feared being found out a liar would be his undoing, but it looked like telling the truth would have been the shit-kicker.

‘So, if you knew I wasn’t a true project manager, why did you hand the planet destroying project over to me?’ he asked, puzzled.

‘Oh that?  Well, we’ve tried real project managers in the past, along with their fancy la-de-da PRINCE2 qualifications that ended up with projects ending up late, incomplete, not doing what we wanted and way over budget.  None of the last seven planet destroying devices we’ve contracted for have worked adequately. We decided a screwed up catering guy who was a wannabe project manager would be worth a spin.  Seeing as we are aiming at destroying the planet, it can hardly harm.

‘So you know I made everything up?’ asked Brian, confused.

‘I hope not everything,’ stated Daw.  Brian racked his memory to recall the bullshit he’d written.  He’d sprinkled some truth in the document, specifically his name, his address, his age – scrub that, just his name and address now he thought about it. 

‘The Christmas party?’ asked Daw.  Brian’s blood ran cold; he’d forgotten he’d included that.  It wasn’t a big deal, just something that the catering manager was expected to organize.  Daw continued.

‘If you f*ck up the death ray from space then Mr O’Feld will only be a little pissed off.’

‘What does that imply?’ asked Brian, sitting.

‘You’ll keep most of your balls,’ answered Daw.  ‘But screw up the Christmas party and your balls will be the least of your problems,’ he said, standing.  Sweeping up the CV he left the room silently.

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The characters, companies and places referred to in Project: Evil are fictitious and any resemblance to people, companies, businesses or places is entirely coincidental

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